I don't get it. I think I'm missing something. The New Year seems to be a time for optimism but all I seem to see right now is a huge glut of same old same old …… same old job, same old place, same old life, same old face …… hey, I'm nearly a poet!! I think randomness is about to ensue so bear with me ......
Maybe ….. no, it probably is just me. The beginning of a new year is supposed to be a time for reflection, but all my reflections seem to show 2008 as pretty much one long disappointment after another. I try to be optimistic but it isn't helped by this humdrum existence I seem to have eeked out for myself. I just can't seem to find anything in this world that seems to hold my attention for more than just a few months. I have no clue what's wrong with me. Maybe it's because everyone out there seems to be making the most of their lot in life and I just can't. I foolishly thought that after I got a new job my life would be OK again …… but I'm beginning to wonder. I just want to find something – ANYTHING – that would make getting up every day worth it.
I know in these modern times I'm lucky to have what I have. I have a pretty good income and I have a little bit of money put aside which means I don't really have to want for much materialistically. I have enough to find a little bit of money to put aside every month and I have the prospect of a permanent job at the end of this maternity cover I'm currently working (although again, that could change during the next 8 months so we'll call that cautiously optimistic). I'm one of the lucky ones. I could still be one of those poor jobless millions out there that Gordon Brown seems to like to pretend aren't there. The ones who, through no fault of their own, have found themselves suddenly out in the cold and having to scrabble around. I could be one of those people on a fixed income from their small savings pots who, because of the naivete of many millions of others, now find themselves bailing out those people who have over-extended themselves so they didn't get priced out of our over-inflated housing market.
There's something else that bothers me, and that is where I seem to sit on my Mother's list of priorities. I think I'm right at the bottom. After all, I'm sat here on my own on New Year's Eve while my mother is out with the same group of people she's out with pretty much every night of the week, the people whose names and pastime seem to take over every frickin' conversation we ever have, the people who she seems to jump for in an instant, the people who she cancels our plans for because they 'need' her, the people who she can't bear to not spend an evening with, the people she spent Christmas Eve with and the same people she spent pretty much the whole of the 29th December …… the same people who, it seemed this year, I should have been honoured she wasn't spending my birthday with.
I don't deny her a hobby in the least but I just wish that occasionally she would talk about someone or something else. She just doesn't listen anymore. I've lost count of the number of times I've told her something and she's not listened and I've had to repeat it to her several times ….. and she wonders why I get annoyed at her. It seems if it doesn't involve her friends it's not worth bothering with. It's got to the point that because her whole world now revolves around her extra-curriculars that I've started tuning her out. Well if I don't get anything out of her why should I give her any special consideration.
I don't usually do resolutions. That list of aims I mentioned a couple of years back still has some bits outstanding and some I need to do again. Maybe I'll try for those again. Wonder where I put that list anyway …… I'll have to find it, then read that Feel The Fear book I bought about 6 years ago and never finished. Maybe that'll help ……
Anywho, I know I'm early but I hope you all have a wonderful 2009. I'm certainly hoping for a better 2009 then I seem to have had in 2008 if that makes sense. I know for some it will already be too late to wish you the HNY as it already is, but have a fabulous and fun-filled one full of health, happiness and all that jazz.
H.
Xx
Wednesday 31 December 2008
Thursday 26 June 2008
Wednesday 18 June 2008
Updates
Think it's update time again. It's probably going to be all obver the place but meh.
So what's been going on since my last blog ……. Not much really. My last contract ended on 6 June. I actually interviewed for the job to be permanent but I didn't get it …… obviously!!! Lol!! I got a lot of positive feedback from my manager, who gave me some advice and a confidence boost -- she's also given me a copy of the questions and my answers so I'm more prepared for my next interview -- the perks of having a parent on a personal level with the boss. ;) But for the moment I'm unemployed again, which means all the interviewing and bi-weekly trips to the job centre. She was actually really upset she couldn't give me the job. It wasn't anything major really, the person I was up against had more experience …… and apparently I need to formulate a five year plan even if I'm lying. Apparently saying you "like to go with the flow and see what happens" isn't good enough. Neither is "become a lady of leisure" – I didn't actually say that one – she beat me to that one -- but it would be nice. ;). Boohissboo.
I've been using my time 'constructively' obviously. As well as job hunting – of which there are few around, actually I've only found one job that I fancy or could possibly do and I've emailed them for an application form …… not that it's turned up yet!!! – I've been contemplating again. After my interview I got a lot of good advice from the interviewer, so I'm thinking again. I've also been spending way too much time on the 'net, and taking photos. I got some blinders on Monday night after my class. They're posted up on my 'Bucket under "The Humber Bridge and the River". There are also new photos of the birds at Blacktoft Sands, Boycie and Jasmine (whose shots are under "Pets" and "Boycie" and "Pets" and "Jasmine" respectively ;)), there's some more 'Scapes, the church at Barrow (which is appropriately under "Barrow"), the garden area outside the New Theatre in Hull (under "Hull"), and some Wildlife and Plantlife. Go have a look!!! Enjoy!!! I'm especially proud of the Humber Bridge ones. :D There will, no doubt, be some Jovi in the next week or so but I'll chuck out a bulletin when those come out. Kerry can blog it. ;)
I've been reading The DaVinci Code for the past couple of weeks. I had a good run at it every night before bed. Unfortunately Sunday night I got so into it, before I knew it, it was 2am!!! Lol!! Finally finished it this morning -- took me long enough, I've tried to get into it about 3 times previously -- and it's a very good book. It's a fantastic mystery and it's really 'twisty'. It jumps around a bit but that's because there's about 3 or 4 different viewpoints for the story ..... but it is excellent. I think I'm going to start Angel and Demons next. Should really have read that one first it seems but since when have I done things the way they should be done!! ;)
I'm starting to get wound up for Bon Jovi. I've been relatively calm until now, but come Saturday I shall be bouncing off the walls and Kerry will be hiding under the bed in a hotel room in Manchester wondering what the hell she got herself into. I did spring for the Coventry ticket too so I'm going back on the Tuesday. I believe my eventual reasoning, having been umm-ing and aaah-ing about it for, erm, a morning, was ........ "well fuck it why not" so I'm going again ...... yay!!! Next stop?? A Nickelback ticket ...... or another Jovi one. ;) As it stands at the moment, I think I'm on merch duty seeing as I have a seat rather than a square of turf so being punctual won't be as much of an issue. :) I got Block 18, Row C which is Richie's side of the stage. In fact it looks like it will be the first block of seats which will hopefully mean an excellent view of the action. :) I've also booked a hotel room in Coventry I can probably ill afford in all honesty but it is Bon Jovi so it's special. We don't see them in this part of the world very often so it's important to make it special. ;)
Courses – well I had to chuck in my AAT. I couldn't find an employer who could give me the afternoon release for the classes and it was a bit out of sight out of mind and I wasn't getting the support or information from the Tutor. I wasn't even finding out from him when the exams were and was getting further behind in class (the last exam was a stark indicator of that when it was all Greek – no offence 'Rini -- to me and I'm sure I failed it magnificently!!!) so, regardless of the fact I was wondering if Accounts was what I wanted to do, I decided to throw it in. I was getting up tight and doing myself no favours. Of course it means I wasted £100 in registration and such that I could have used on more interesting things. Sage is still going – kind of. I haven't had the inclination to attend much lately as I'm bored stupid with it. The teacher is shit and doing nothing but past exam papers is driving me nuts, but I'm still sticking at it …… kind of. I failed the manual unit but I'll be damned if I can find out how or why – everything balanced and I spent 20 minutes finding 10p to MAKE it balance, but I still failed. As I said the teacher is shit. When I first found out I failed (about 4 weeks ago) I asked if she could find out how I failed because she even admitted she was surprised that myself and 2 others failed the manual when people she expected to fail because they struggled so much passed (and breathe). Last week she sent me a pissy email asking what my intentions with regard to the class were and sprung the fact that the resit would be tomorrow (19 June) and they would charge me £19.10 for the privilege (although that last bit I only found out on Monday), and I asked her if she had found out how I failed it. She said she couldn't and that OCR (the examining body) wouldn't give her that information, although I was more suspicious that she just didn't so I emailed OCR myself to see if I could find something out. Got the email back from them this morning saying the centre has to fill a form in to find out so I'm guessing "didn't" is probably more like it. Like I said – useless.
I went to the Job Centre last week to get my shit sorted out for my claim. Should I be worried that they now know me on sight 'cos I've been back the so often in fits and starts ...... on the plus-side at least they know I DO want to work so they go a bit easy on me. ;) I also think they kind of like me going because I'm an easy one to sort out.
Had a letter from the DWP this morning saying my latest claim has been authorized (how kind!!!) and saying that I won't get JSA after 24 October because my contributions will have run out. Not entirely clear as to whether that means during this period of unemployment or for good. Not entirely fair as it's not my fault I became redundant or that the only jobs I've been able to find/get have been temporary, and until my redundancy I was working constantly – I was at the same pissing company – the place that shall not be named. ;) Seems 5 years of contributions don't get you very far and I really don't want to dig into my savings -- that's a deposit for a house if and when I decide to hop on the property ladder.
I know its 20 weeks away and I don't expect to still be unemployed then, but it's got me freaking out a bit. Tried to do some research this morning but there's no information. It's the government they talk round in circles and don't tell you anything new. I'm due at the Job Centre on Friday so I may ask then. I get the feeling it may be something to do with not having my P45's when I go in ...... I have to notify the Job Centre I'm out of work as soon as possible so I don't lose out, and I've always had to wait on the employers for the documentation and government departments are renowned for not sharing information so I guess to all intents and purposes it looks like I haven't been working when I have!! Suppose I ought to phone the Inland Revenue and see if they've had my P45's that went missing back in December or whether they've finally turned up. Suppose at some point I'll need to get a form from them anyway to fill in the gaps because Charterhouse was crap. Meantime I'm going to sign up with a few more agencies (oh Joy!!!) and see what turns up.
Rant over. I expect to be rescued on Sunday so this'll all be by the by on Monday. ;) :P Lol!!
So what's been going on since my last blog ……. Not much really. My last contract ended on 6 June. I actually interviewed for the job to be permanent but I didn't get it …… obviously!!! Lol!! I got a lot of positive feedback from my manager, who gave me some advice and a confidence boost -- she's also given me a copy of the questions and my answers so I'm more prepared for my next interview -- the perks of having a parent on a personal level with the boss. ;) But for the moment I'm unemployed again, which means all the interviewing and bi-weekly trips to the job centre. She was actually really upset she couldn't give me the job. It wasn't anything major really, the person I was up against had more experience …… and apparently I need to formulate a five year plan even if I'm lying. Apparently saying you "like to go with the flow and see what happens" isn't good enough. Neither is "become a lady of leisure" – I didn't actually say that one – she beat me to that one -- but it would be nice. ;). Boohissboo.
I've been using my time 'constructively' obviously. As well as job hunting – of which there are few around, actually I've only found one job that I fancy or could possibly do and I've emailed them for an application form …… not that it's turned up yet!!! – I've been contemplating again. After my interview I got a lot of good advice from the interviewer, so I'm thinking again. I've also been spending way too much time on the 'net, and taking photos. I got some blinders on Monday night after my class. They're posted up on my 'Bucket under "The Humber Bridge and the River". There are also new photos of the birds at Blacktoft Sands, Boycie and Jasmine (whose shots are under "Pets" and "Boycie" and "Pets" and "Jasmine" respectively ;)), there's some more 'Scapes, the church at Barrow (which is appropriately under "Barrow"), the garden area outside the New Theatre in Hull (under "Hull"), and some Wildlife and Plantlife. Go have a look!!! Enjoy!!! I'm especially proud of the Humber Bridge ones. :D There will, no doubt, be some Jovi in the next week or so but I'll chuck out a bulletin when those come out. Kerry can blog it. ;)
I've been reading The DaVinci Code for the past couple of weeks. I had a good run at it every night before bed. Unfortunately Sunday night I got so into it, before I knew it, it was 2am!!! Lol!! Finally finished it this morning -- took me long enough, I've tried to get into it about 3 times previously -- and it's a very good book. It's a fantastic mystery and it's really 'twisty'. It jumps around a bit but that's because there's about 3 or 4 different viewpoints for the story ..... but it is excellent. I think I'm going to start Angel and Demons next. Should really have read that one first it seems but since when have I done things the way they should be done!! ;)
I'm starting to get wound up for Bon Jovi. I've been relatively calm until now, but come Saturday I shall be bouncing off the walls and Kerry will be hiding under the bed in a hotel room in Manchester wondering what the hell she got herself into. I did spring for the Coventry ticket too so I'm going back on the Tuesday. I believe my eventual reasoning, having been umm-ing and aaah-ing about it for, erm, a morning, was ........ "well fuck it why not" so I'm going again ...... yay!!! Next stop?? A Nickelback ticket ...... or another Jovi one. ;) As it stands at the moment, I think I'm on merch duty seeing as I have a seat rather than a square of turf so being punctual won't be as much of an issue. :) I got Block 18, Row C which is Richie's side of the stage. In fact it looks like it will be the first block of seats which will hopefully mean an excellent view of the action. :) I've also booked a hotel room in Coventry I can probably ill afford in all honesty but it is Bon Jovi so it's special. We don't see them in this part of the world very often so it's important to make it special. ;)
Courses – well I had to chuck in my AAT. I couldn't find an employer who could give me the afternoon release for the classes and it was a bit out of sight out of mind and I wasn't getting the support or information from the Tutor. I wasn't even finding out from him when the exams were and was getting further behind in class (the last exam was a stark indicator of that when it was all Greek – no offence 'Rini -- to me and I'm sure I failed it magnificently!!!) so, regardless of the fact I was wondering if Accounts was what I wanted to do, I decided to throw it in. I was getting up tight and doing myself no favours. Of course it means I wasted £100 in registration and such that I could have used on more interesting things. Sage is still going – kind of. I haven't had the inclination to attend much lately as I'm bored stupid with it. The teacher is shit and doing nothing but past exam papers is driving me nuts, but I'm still sticking at it …… kind of. I failed the manual unit but I'll be damned if I can find out how or why – everything balanced and I spent 20 minutes finding 10p to MAKE it balance, but I still failed. As I said the teacher is shit. When I first found out I failed (about 4 weeks ago) I asked if she could find out how I failed because she even admitted she was surprised that myself and 2 others failed the manual when people she expected to fail because they struggled so much passed (and breathe). Last week she sent me a pissy email asking what my intentions with regard to the class were and sprung the fact that the resit would be tomorrow (19 June) and they would charge me £19.10 for the privilege (although that last bit I only found out on Monday), and I asked her if she had found out how I failed it. She said she couldn't and that OCR (the examining body) wouldn't give her that information, although I was more suspicious that she just didn't so I emailed OCR myself to see if I could find something out. Got the email back from them this morning saying the centre has to fill a form in to find out so I'm guessing "didn't" is probably more like it. Like I said – useless.
I went to the Job Centre last week to get my shit sorted out for my claim. Should I be worried that they now know me on sight 'cos I've been back the so often in fits and starts ...... on the plus-side at least they know I DO want to work so they go a bit easy on me. ;) I also think they kind of like me going because I'm an easy one to sort out.
Had a letter from the DWP this morning saying my latest claim has been authorized (how kind!!!) and saying that I won't get JSA after 24 October because my contributions will have run out. Not entirely clear as to whether that means during this period of unemployment or for good. Not entirely fair as it's not my fault I became redundant or that the only jobs I've been able to find/get have been temporary, and until my redundancy I was working constantly – I was at the same pissing company – the place that shall not be named. ;) Seems 5 years of contributions don't get you very far and I really don't want to dig into my savings -- that's a deposit for a house if and when I decide to hop on the property ladder.
I know its 20 weeks away and I don't expect to still be unemployed then, but it's got me freaking out a bit. Tried to do some research this morning but there's no information. It's the government they talk round in circles and don't tell you anything new. I'm due at the Job Centre on Friday so I may ask then. I get the feeling it may be something to do with not having my P45's when I go in ...... I have to notify the Job Centre I'm out of work as soon as possible so I don't lose out, and I've always had to wait on the employers for the documentation and government departments are renowned for not sharing information so I guess to all intents and purposes it looks like I haven't been working when I have!! Suppose I ought to phone the Inland Revenue and see if they've had my P45's that went missing back in December or whether they've finally turned up. Suppose at some point I'll need to get a form from them anyway to fill in the gaps because Charterhouse was crap. Meantime I'm going to sign up with a few more agencies (oh Joy!!!) and see what turns up.
Rant over. I expect to be rescued on Sunday so this'll all be by the by on Monday. ;) :P Lol!!
Monday 9 June 2008
I’m Having A Crisis!!!!
...... and this time it's not ALL about work ...... or my lack thereof.
HELP!!! I'm already getting to see the Boys in just under a fortnight in Manchester, but I REALLY want to go to see them in Coventry too, however whereas I seem to have decided I want to go I'm having a hard time convincing myself to book the ticket ......
Can someone give me an answer as to why??? Bon Jovi come around here for 6 dates every 2-3 years, so logic (or that could be mass emotional reaction!!) dictates I should take advantage, especially as my lack of passport-age is a major stumbling block to going elsewhere!!
Now, I've found a pretty good ticket for Coventry. It's Block 18 at the Ricoh Arena in Coventry which is about one block from Mr Sambora and his side of the stage (which is a fucking ACE place to be!!), and it's row C ...... it's also £55, which is less than I've already paid for my GC tix ...... but it will mean another night in a hotel (I'm thinking the Ramada. ;))
Somebody talk me round ...... please??? Lol!!
H.
xx
HELP!!! I'm already getting to see the Boys in just under a fortnight in Manchester, but I REALLY want to go to see them in Coventry too, however whereas I seem to have decided I want to go I'm having a hard time convincing myself to book the ticket ......
Can someone give me an answer as to why??? Bon Jovi come around here for 6 dates every 2-3 years, so logic (or that could be mass emotional reaction!!) dictates I should take advantage, especially as my lack of passport-age is a major stumbling block to going elsewhere!!
Now, I've found a pretty good ticket for Coventry. It's Block 18 at the Ricoh Arena in Coventry which is about one block from Mr Sambora and his side of the stage (which is a fucking ACE place to be!!), and it's row C ...... it's also £55, which is less than I've already paid for my GC tix ...... but it will mean another night in a hotel (I'm thinking the Ramada. ;))
Somebody talk me round ...... please??? Lol!!
H.
xx
Sunday 1 June 2008
Dirty Girl!!!
I realised something while I was getting changed today – I need to clean. I don't WANT to clean but it's becoming more apparent I need to. What triggered this realisation?? The lack of floor space in my room.
I suppose, as most girls in their late 20's, I have acquired an awful lot of stuff and being that all my stuff and me live in one room at home, it looks, and is, very cluttered. My whole life is in one small space and there's a lot of stuff in my life!! Lol!! There are many shoes, DVD's, CD's, books, hats, handbags, shining things, clothes that don't have a home, trinkets, photos, general 'girl' stuff, my PC, stereo, DVD player, Sky box …… monkeys. Usually my suitcase lives in there too but that hasn't gone back in since Peterborough because it's due to be used again in a couple of weeks for a gig by some band. ;). You name it and it's probably somewhere in that room. And that doesn't even include the stuff that has yet to make it back in from when we redecorated it about 3 years ago!!
A while back my Mum threw out the idea of moving into 'the cat's wing' i.e. where guests stay. It's an idea …… it'd mean 2 bedrooms, a bathroom, a sitting room …… in essence my own place less a kitchen. Seems there was an up-side to how the guy built the house. I'd have my own self contained 'flat' in essence, and I could come and go as I please more without disturbing my Mum.
To be honest, there's probably a hell of a lot of crap in there I don't need and stuff that could go in the attic but just looking at the mess in there just puts me right off. I do try to make a dent on occasion, but it never seems enough because as soon as I make that dent I find something to fill it with!! Lol!!
I suppose I really only have one option, 1) tidy up and don't buy as much (which I am doing as I can hold my head up and say I haven't bought new shoes in months – my cash seems to be going on CD's these days) or before too long I will be actually climbing over piles of crap trying not to break my neck. My god!! I think I'm very nearly becoming domesticated?!?!? I was looking at recipes the other day too!! Lol!!
In the meantime, I foresee that well travelled route that every shit tip has that you keep clear to follow so you don't get lost in the wilds of your stuff …… ;)
I suppose, as most girls in their late 20's, I have acquired an awful lot of stuff and being that all my stuff and me live in one room at home, it looks, and is, very cluttered. My whole life is in one small space and there's a lot of stuff in my life!! Lol!! There are many shoes, DVD's, CD's, books, hats, handbags, shining things, clothes that don't have a home, trinkets, photos, general 'girl' stuff, my PC, stereo, DVD player, Sky box …… monkeys. Usually my suitcase lives in there too but that hasn't gone back in since Peterborough because it's due to be used again in a couple of weeks for a gig by some band. ;). You name it and it's probably somewhere in that room. And that doesn't even include the stuff that has yet to make it back in from when we redecorated it about 3 years ago!!
A while back my Mum threw out the idea of moving into 'the cat's wing' i.e. where guests stay. It's an idea …… it'd mean 2 bedrooms, a bathroom, a sitting room …… in essence my own place less a kitchen. Seems there was an up-side to how the guy built the house. I'd have my own self contained 'flat' in essence, and I could come and go as I please more without disturbing my Mum.
To be honest, there's probably a hell of a lot of crap in there I don't need and stuff that could go in the attic but just looking at the mess in there just puts me right off. I do try to make a dent on occasion, but it never seems enough because as soon as I make that dent I find something to fill it with!! Lol!!
I suppose I really only have one option, 1) tidy up and don't buy as much (which I am doing as I can hold my head up and say I haven't bought new shoes in months – my cash seems to be going on CD's these days) or before too long I will be actually climbing over piles of crap trying not to break my neck. My god!! I think I'm very nearly becoming domesticated?!?!? I was looking at recipes the other day too!! Lol!!
In the meantime, I foresee that well travelled route that every shit tip has that you keep clear to follow so you don't get lost in the wilds of your stuff …… ;)
Tuesday 11 March 2008
What the HELL is wrong with me?!?!?!
No …… No …… See?? It's not that hard a word to say. So why didn't I say it??? Agency folk are a pain in the arse. As you know, the last couple of weeks I have been working out in Beverley in a Credit Control job. …… OK, maybe you didn't know the credit control part, but that's what I was doing …… so anyway, the contract came to an end on Friday. A fact, of which, I was so glad because it was the most boring and tedious fucking job you could imagine. I spent 8 hours a day staring at a spreadsheet trying to sort out someone else's mess for a system I didn't understand. Seem to be my remit these days …… I was looking forward to catching up on my sleep, seeing as I had been doing the 5 hours sleep a night thing again, not coming home with sore eyes and a headache, not having to tackle the rush hour traffic for a journey that should have taken 30 minutes and wound up taking an hour each way, and having the opportunity to have yet another PROPER rethink about my direction. I'd made some plans for the interim, such as catching up on AAT reading and tidying, and had prepared myself for another tedious routine of applications, interviews and chat shows.
Come Monday, I decided I should set about looking for another job and contacting the Job Centre to sort out restarting my JSA Claim, and that's what I did today …… I went in, they gave me a form to complete and made me an appointment to go in again tomorrow to see an advisor, and what happens?? I get a phone call from the pushy agency person who arranged the Beverley job the first time round, telling me that they had requested I go back to do some more work on the same project for them. Now, you would have thought that my disdain for the work I had been doing would lead me to say 'No, don't want it, you can stick it!' Right?? Wrong. Me, being me, said, "Yeah. OK."
'Yeah, OK'. YEAH OK!!!! What is wrong with me??? I must be a sadist to do that to myself. Something tells me the whips and chains would be preferable. So why did I say yes?? I think I panicked. I want to work …… I KNOW I want to work …… I just don't want to work THERE doing THAT, but the pressure that you're placed under by agencies and the job centre to find a job, and the preconceived notion that many have of the unemployed (scrounging bastards springs to mind!!) kind of forces your hand a bit. So I start back in Beverley on Thursday …… for a week …… up until Easter. Hardly seems worth the effort. I think part of it is that it's a continuation of what became 'My Baby' while I was there, but that doesn't make it any more appealing. I suppose if I'd known they'd be asking me back this week I wouldn't be so bothered but it's just so 'bitty' and random, no consistency whatsoever. Something tells me they asked someone else to continue the project and they refused saying they were 'too busy' despite the fact they probably spent most of their time gassing about Coronation Street or Lost or Big Brother or whatever the fuck the latest thing is ……
This agency woman is a pain in the arse, she's young and headstrong the way some of the youth of today are wont to be (listen to me sounding like I'm 50, but she's got to be no more than early 20's). She's pushy as hell and makes me feel like I'm doing HER a disservice if I say no to any number of potential jobs she's trying to find for me, in companies where there aren't actually any jobs going so give it a few months and I could wind up redundant again. She's definitely on commission. She put me up for an interview the other week, which I had second thoughts about and wanted to cancel. I can understand her reasoning. Her excuse was "it's all good interview practice", but if you're not sure about a job you don't do your best interview and it therefore isn't that good a practice, it's just going through the motions. Or is that just me. Suffice it to say I never heard back either way for that one but that suits me fine …… so much for practice and feedback ……
And on top of all that …… Avon's discontinuing both the shampoos I like and the bubble bath!!! BooHissBoo!! ;)
Come Monday, I decided I should set about looking for another job and contacting the Job Centre to sort out restarting my JSA Claim, and that's what I did today …… I went in, they gave me a form to complete and made me an appointment to go in again tomorrow to see an advisor, and what happens?? I get a phone call from the pushy agency person who arranged the Beverley job the first time round, telling me that they had requested I go back to do some more work on the same project for them. Now, you would have thought that my disdain for the work I had been doing would lead me to say 'No, don't want it, you can stick it!' Right?? Wrong. Me, being me, said, "Yeah. OK."
'Yeah, OK'. YEAH OK!!!! What is wrong with me??? I must be a sadist to do that to myself. Something tells me the whips and chains would be preferable. So why did I say yes?? I think I panicked. I want to work …… I KNOW I want to work …… I just don't want to work THERE doing THAT, but the pressure that you're placed under by agencies and the job centre to find a job, and the preconceived notion that many have of the unemployed (scrounging bastards springs to mind!!) kind of forces your hand a bit. So I start back in Beverley on Thursday …… for a week …… up until Easter. Hardly seems worth the effort. I think part of it is that it's a continuation of what became 'My Baby' while I was there, but that doesn't make it any more appealing. I suppose if I'd known they'd be asking me back this week I wouldn't be so bothered but it's just so 'bitty' and random, no consistency whatsoever. Something tells me they asked someone else to continue the project and they refused saying they were 'too busy' despite the fact they probably spent most of their time gassing about Coronation Street or Lost or Big Brother or whatever the fuck the latest thing is ……
This agency woman is a pain in the arse, she's young and headstrong the way some of the youth of today are wont to be (listen to me sounding like I'm 50, but she's got to be no more than early 20's). She's pushy as hell and makes me feel like I'm doing HER a disservice if I say no to any number of potential jobs she's trying to find for me, in companies where there aren't actually any jobs going so give it a few months and I could wind up redundant again. She's definitely on commission. She put me up for an interview the other week, which I had second thoughts about and wanted to cancel. I can understand her reasoning. Her excuse was "it's all good interview practice", but if you're not sure about a job you don't do your best interview and it therefore isn't that good a practice, it's just going through the motions. Or is that just me. Suffice it to say I never heard back either way for that one but that suits me fine …… so much for practice and feedback ……
And on top of all that …… Avon's discontinuing both the shampoos I like and the bubble bath!!! BooHissBoo!! ;)
Thursday 6 March 2008
A Rock And A Hard Place
It seems you can't win as a job seeker. On the one hand you're told by the Job Centre that you need to apply for X amount of jobs/talk to X amount of employers per week which, if you want to work, you dutifully do, then on the other you get told by agencies that you have to seem enthusiastic about every dead-end boring job you go to interview for. Case in point, I was put up for a job in Immingham, by one of the agencies the other day. I need a job especially as this one was only due to last a fortnight, so I said, go ahead, put me forward. Maybe I didn't read what she'd sent me properly, but it turns out it was for a chiefly payroll position – something which I said I wanted to get away from. But I went anyway, but unfortunately as soon as Payroll was mentioned, my interest in the job waned and it seems I didn't succeed in hiding it very well. Her advice was nervous or not, which I wasn't particularly, I should look interested. The fact that I was stressed because of traffic, tardiness (because of the traffic!!) and a lack of information on the job provided by the agency resulting in my being unable to actually DO any timely research is neither here nor there. If I could have done the research I would, but I'm not going to abuse my current position by surfing the internet while working!!
So what do I do?? I have to apply for a certain amount of jobs whilst not working, but some of those I won't really want, and if I make it to the interview stage, it seems the remark "I need a job" isn't a good enough retort to use in an interview when asked why you applied, even if that is the only reason you have applied. Seems an eagerness just to work isn't enough these days ……
My other related crisis is over-thinking …… AGAIN!!! Maybe it's the number of knock backs again or the uncertainty of temping but it gives me way too much time to think. I commented to Kerry the other day how everything I've done in terms of career I've fallen into. I've never really made a decision for me. It was always convenient or necessary. So here I am wondering if Accounts is my bag of chips …… and wondering how I've got into such a rut. Think it's the time of year again. It's coming up to birthdays and other stuff and I start contemplating my lot again …… promising myself that I'll do something about it and never quite getting round to it ……
I sound like a broken record, I know that. But it just bothers me that everyone else has seemingly found their niche and I'm still looking for it …… Roll on unemployment ……
So what do I do?? I have to apply for a certain amount of jobs whilst not working, but some of those I won't really want, and if I make it to the interview stage, it seems the remark "I need a job" isn't a good enough retort to use in an interview when asked why you applied, even if that is the only reason you have applied. Seems an eagerness just to work isn't enough these days ……
My other related crisis is over-thinking …… AGAIN!!! Maybe it's the number of knock backs again or the uncertainty of temping but it gives me way too much time to think. I commented to Kerry the other day how everything I've done in terms of career I've fallen into. I've never really made a decision for me. It was always convenient or necessary. So here I am wondering if Accounts is my bag of chips …… and wondering how I've got into such a rut. Think it's the time of year again. It's coming up to birthdays and other stuff and I start contemplating my lot again …… promising myself that I'll do something about it and never quite getting round to it ……
I sound like a broken record, I know that. But it just bothers me that everyone else has seemingly found their niche and I'm still looking for it …… Roll on unemployment ……
Wednesday 16 January 2008
What a Nuisance!!!
I should be doing revision type stuff but I am so damn peeved right now and if I don't get it out my system I shall most likely explode!!!
We got home from work today to find a letter addressed "To The Occupier" in our mailbox. Now, usually we don't open these because generally it's junk mail about roller blinds, fascias or invalidity scooters (OK, the latter not so much these days!!) but for some reason I decided to open it – maybe it was the postmark that was on it – makes it less random mail-shot and more something with a purpose. Anyway, open it up I did and guess what. Someone has decided to make a complaint with the dog warden about our kids making too much noise during the day. Now, I'm not about to sit here and defend noisy dogs …… OK, maybe I am a bit, but there is a reason.
As you know we have 2 dogs, Bubba and Twink, and they are big dogs – you couldn't really describe them as anything else. Now, when I was working at "that place we know longer mention" I came home every lunchtime to check on them, let them out and make sure they hadn't killed each other. All was good in the world and then when I became an unemployed they had company all day. At the time they were still 24 hour house dogs, but as you know, Belle's getting a bit old now and so her plumbing doesn't work as well as it used to. So unfortunately, when I started working again, and after a couple of weeks of scraping crap (the literal kind) off the sofa and coming home to a smelly house where Belle had tiddled without realising it, we made the decision that we should get them an outdoor run, both for their sake and our embarrassment. So we got them a nice big run, we kitted it out with cushions and such to make it comfortable, a few toys, and made sure they had water and started putting them out there while we were at work and bringing them in at night because we are firm believers in Dogs being part of the family and therefore having as much right to be in the house as we do.
All was going swimmingly. No-one complained to us that they were noisy. Of course they're still on guard – protecting their territory and the like so they would bark if they heard a noise or thought their home was being invaded, but we never got any complaints – if we had we would've tried something different – we're not vindictive by any stretch of the imagination. Unfortunately, Mum decided we needed help to get the house back to some semblance of tidiness and normality so she decided to hire a cleaner – and we think this is where the problem came about. Serena is a lovely lass and she comes in for 4hrs on a Monday to help us out, but the dogs don't know her. She's only been twice so far and of course if they see someone unusual in their house cleaning windows they can see from where they are they are going to protect their home and people. We've never had any problems before. Mum hired a gardener and for the first few weeks they barked until they were used to them …… they were 24hr housedogs at the time, but they still barked. When the window cleaner started coming they barked for the first few weeks …… then they stopped. Again 24hr house dogs at the time. When we had to be rewired they barked at the Spark, again same thing, but the Spark was indoors too, as was the tiler. They barked, they got over it, it was part of life – but they weren't planning on using a vacuum cleaner. They hate vacuum cleaners and we can't expect Serena to take charge of them while trying to clean. Aside from the fact they would bark at the Vac, Boycie is also likely to mug her cleaning stuff – chemicals and puppies would never mix. There are plenty of 'Tradesman' that would vouch for their behaviour – Mum actually phoned the Gardener earlier to ask about the noise level when they came just before Christmas – no bad there. Barked when they got there but settled down after a little while.
So we got a letter from the Dog Warden for trying to do the best by our dogs. If they could let themselves in and out during the day that would be fine. Unfortunately although they're clever kids they're not THAT bright! The run gives them the chance to have an indoors for keeping warm and a covered outdoors for doing their 'business'. They're not neglecting by any stretch of the imagination (unless you count Boycie not thinking he gets enough cuddles despite getting them whenever he asks – mainly because he doesn't give you any alternative!!) and that could be evidenced by our vet – special diet and £500 of antibiotics (and the rest) included!! They're outside from about 8am to 5.30pm Monday to Friday (sometimes a bit later but not often), and indoors the rest of the time aside from when we need to go out anywhere during the day – that seems to be when Boycie's at his most destructive!! If Mum's bell ringing and I'm at my class on a Monday evening they're inside and they have company the rest of the time.
We're a bit "rock and a hard place" right now. We think we know who's done the complaining, but of course we won't be able to get a name out of the Warden, but suffice it to say we have our suspicions that it's our neighbour to the right who is IMO a twat anyway!! He doesn't help himself by trying to shout them down himself – they don't know him from Adam …… although if his Grandson told them to be quiet strangely enough they do. Mum said he once complained that Boycie was a menace because he put his head through the fence near his back door, so she's said if he brings that up she will happily put a piece of fencing in that spot, but make it clear that he has actually un-dog proofed our dog proofed garden when he had his garden revamped and demand he puts it right. She's also said if he threw cold water on them when they barked they'd stop …… and she's right. The shock'd knock them right off kilter!
She's gone bell-ringing tonight and she's going to bend the ear of one of the ringers who specialises in law relating to animals, but she's looking worst case scenario and is fretting about being told we have to get rid. It's playing on my mind a bit since she said that – she's never been one for sugar-coating it and living in denial – you wouldn't think it to speak to her but she can be a bit of a pessimist. Besides, I think before that happens she'll decide to can Serena's visits and bring them back inside. Mum's phoning the council tomorrow to talk to the Warden and we'll see what happens next. Give it a couple of weeks though and they're likely to have company all day again anyway! ;)
So I guess I'm defending my kids and anyone would, but I could understand if it was all day and all night non-stop, or constantly late at night waking folk up, but it's not. It's them guarding their territory while their family aren't in. Right now they're inside and fast asleep in the other room. We think he's developed some kind of vendetta about our hedge not being the height he'd like (but still under 6ft) which Mum said she would rectify in the New year and which she has arranged to sort next week, but unfortunately if he's going to complain about the barking she may have to cancel. As I said, we'll see what her conversation with bell-ringing lawyers and Dog Wardens bring. But we'll be damned if we get rid of our kids!! Ain't gonna happen!!! We'll relocate first!!
We got home from work today to find a letter addressed "To The Occupier" in our mailbox. Now, usually we don't open these because generally it's junk mail about roller blinds, fascias or invalidity scooters (OK, the latter not so much these days!!) but for some reason I decided to open it – maybe it was the postmark that was on it – makes it less random mail-shot and more something with a purpose. Anyway, open it up I did and guess what. Someone has decided to make a complaint with the dog warden about our kids making too much noise during the day. Now, I'm not about to sit here and defend noisy dogs …… OK, maybe I am a bit, but there is a reason.
As you know we have 2 dogs, Bubba and Twink, and they are big dogs – you couldn't really describe them as anything else. Now, when I was working at "that place we know longer mention" I came home every lunchtime to check on them, let them out and make sure they hadn't killed each other. All was good in the world and then when I became an unemployed they had company all day. At the time they were still 24 hour house dogs, but as you know, Belle's getting a bit old now and so her plumbing doesn't work as well as it used to. So unfortunately, when I started working again, and after a couple of weeks of scraping crap (the literal kind) off the sofa and coming home to a smelly house where Belle had tiddled without realising it, we made the decision that we should get them an outdoor run, both for their sake and our embarrassment. So we got them a nice big run, we kitted it out with cushions and such to make it comfortable, a few toys, and made sure they had water and started putting them out there while we were at work and bringing them in at night because we are firm believers in Dogs being part of the family and therefore having as much right to be in the house as we do.
All was going swimmingly. No-one complained to us that they were noisy. Of course they're still on guard – protecting their territory and the like so they would bark if they heard a noise or thought their home was being invaded, but we never got any complaints – if we had we would've tried something different – we're not vindictive by any stretch of the imagination. Unfortunately, Mum decided we needed help to get the house back to some semblance of tidiness and normality so she decided to hire a cleaner – and we think this is where the problem came about. Serena is a lovely lass and she comes in for 4hrs on a Monday to help us out, but the dogs don't know her. She's only been twice so far and of course if they see someone unusual in their house cleaning windows they can see from where they are they are going to protect their home and people. We've never had any problems before. Mum hired a gardener and for the first few weeks they barked until they were used to them …… they were 24hr housedogs at the time, but they still barked. When the window cleaner started coming they barked for the first few weeks …… then they stopped. Again 24hr house dogs at the time. When we had to be rewired they barked at the Spark, again same thing, but the Spark was indoors too, as was the tiler. They barked, they got over it, it was part of life – but they weren't planning on using a vacuum cleaner. They hate vacuum cleaners and we can't expect Serena to take charge of them while trying to clean. Aside from the fact they would bark at the Vac, Boycie is also likely to mug her cleaning stuff – chemicals and puppies would never mix. There are plenty of 'Tradesman' that would vouch for their behaviour – Mum actually phoned the Gardener earlier to ask about the noise level when they came just before Christmas – no bad there. Barked when they got there but settled down after a little while.
So we got a letter from the Dog Warden for trying to do the best by our dogs. If they could let themselves in and out during the day that would be fine. Unfortunately although they're clever kids they're not THAT bright! The run gives them the chance to have an indoors for keeping warm and a covered outdoors for doing their 'business'. They're not neglecting by any stretch of the imagination (unless you count Boycie not thinking he gets enough cuddles despite getting them whenever he asks – mainly because he doesn't give you any alternative!!) and that could be evidenced by our vet – special diet and £500 of antibiotics (and the rest) included!! They're outside from about 8am to 5.30pm Monday to Friday (sometimes a bit later but not often), and indoors the rest of the time aside from when we need to go out anywhere during the day – that seems to be when Boycie's at his most destructive!! If Mum's bell ringing and I'm at my class on a Monday evening they're inside and they have company the rest of the time.
We're a bit "rock and a hard place" right now. We think we know who's done the complaining, but of course we won't be able to get a name out of the Warden, but suffice it to say we have our suspicions that it's our neighbour to the right who is IMO a twat anyway!! He doesn't help himself by trying to shout them down himself – they don't know him from Adam …… although if his Grandson told them to be quiet strangely enough they do. Mum said he once complained that Boycie was a menace because he put his head through the fence near his back door, so she's said if he brings that up she will happily put a piece of fencing in that spot, but make it clear that he has actually un-dog proofed our dog proofed garden when he had his garden revamped and demand he puts it right. She's also said if he threw cold water on them when they barked they'd stop …… and she's right. The shock'd knock them right off kilter!
She's gone bell-ringing tonight and she's going to bend the ear of one of the ringers who specialises in law relating to animals, but she's looking worst case scenario and is fretting about being told we have to get rid. It's playing on my mind a bit since she said that – she's never been one for sugar-coating it and living in denial – you wouldn't think it to speak to her but she can be a bit of a pessimist. Besides, I think before that happens she'll decide to can Serena's visits and bring them back inside. Mum's phoning the council tomorrow to talk to the Warden and we'll see what happens next. Give it a couple of weeks though and they're likely to have company all day again anyway! ;)
So I guess I'm defending my kids and anyone would, but I could understand if it was all day and all night non-stop, or constantly late at night waking folk up, but it's not. It's them guarding their territory while their family aren't in. Right now they're inside and fast asleep in the other room. We think he's developed some kind of vendetta about our hedge not being the height he'd like (but still under 6ft) which Mum said she would rectify in the New year and which she has arranged to sort next week, but unfortunately if he's going to complain about the barking she may have to cancel. As I said, we'll see what her conversation with bell-ringing lawyers and Dog Wardens bring. But we'll be damned if we get rid of our kids!! Ain't gonna happen!!! We'll relocate first!!
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