Seeing as I'm now midway through my third week as an Unemployed, I figured I'd do a blog giving you (if you're interested!!!) an update on how it's going. So here goes …… it's a long'un so a brew in hand would be advisable.
The Job Centre
As many of you know, I went to the Job Centre last Tuesday. Now I was dreading this simply because I had visions of 'Bread' running round my head – y'know what I mean …… the older brother goes to the DSS every week and has to deal with a very opinionated and snobbish assistant, so I had visions of going in there and having them look down their noses at me. Needn't have worried, however, as I have a very nice personal adviser called Andy. I know he supposed to be nice anyway, but it makes you feel more comfortable. A chat, a bit of form-filling, some signing and explanation later and I walked out of there with 3 potential jobs, a couple of contacts at a couple of agencies and various forms. There's loads of stuff you have to do. I had to sign an agreement which said I had to contact, in different ways, shapes and forms, 8 people a week regarding any work they had available. You also have to show that you are actively seeking work. They gave me this little book thing to put it all down in but I found it didn't show what I wanted, or rather felt it needed to, so I wound up using one of the many hard backed notebooks I bought when I had delusions of writing (what can I say?? It was an escape with all that was going on with Dad at the time!!!) as a record of everything I did – which reminds me I have to update that for the last couple of days.
I went back again this Tuesday to sign on with a lady whose name escapes me but I know it begins with an 'M'. She came across at the start a bit like the 'Bread' woman so I was a little bit edgy. We had a bit of extra time as her expected next appointment wasn't going to be in as they were on holiday, so we had a bit of a chat about what I'd been doing to find work, and she looked at the records I'd made. Apparently she can tell I'm an Accounts person. She was quite impressed actually. It sounds like a lot of people don't bother to put down what they've done, even though they should, to prove they're doing something. I also found out I wasn't going to get any money until the form they sent to work to ask about final payments came back – here is proof of the wonderment that is Spencer. They faxed it last week but Debbie, who I've mentioned before, is on holiday at the mo'. It's a good job I'm not destitute as she is the one who would fill it out and the ONLY person in the company that has access to the records!!! They have this weird idea about confidentiality. Even when I was in payroll, although I was allowed access to all the pay records of the weekly lads, I wasn't allowed to even pass my eyes over salaried info. It was part of the double standard that runs through the company. Or maybe that was just me ......
Agencies
Agencies are funny things. I'm not sure what to make of some of them. I've recently got back in contact with several of them to let them know I'm looking for work. Some of them are really easy to deal with. Sewell Moorhouse who deal with Accounts positions are very easy to deal with and very nice with it. I've met up with Bev from there before – last time I was half-heartedly looking and she understood that. Now I'm seriously looking and she's a lot of help. Not only have I got Bev working for me there, but also Sam, who sorts temporary positions, and Lynsey, who deals with a different area. I met Bev on Tuesday and we had a quick chat again about what I was looking for – it's changed a bit in 12-months!! She had a couple of possibilities she was going to put me forward for so it's just a question of waiting. Sam put me forward for something but I'll get to that later. I also had a meeting with another agency called List Recruitment. They tend to place more technical people, but they get the odd Accounts job with Corus so I thought I might be worth it. I went in and had skills testing, which basically comprised of basic Windows commands, data entry and typing …… why they couldn't just look at my certificates I don't know, although I did learn that I can type 48 words per minute.
I have an interview with another agency today at 4pm. She seemed a bit thick when she phoned up. She told me I needed to bring ID with me – photo ID which I don't have and I'm sure other people don't either. Never had a passport and still operating on an old fashioned paper driving licence – damn me for not losing it or deigning to marry, eh?? ;) This seemed to be a problem, so off she disappears to tell me that I need to bring in a utility bill …… don't have any – everything's in Mums name, so in the end she decided my credit card bill would be sufficient. Surely I could be an illegal immigrant with that too?? I don't recall MBNA asking for proof of my British-ness when I applied for my credit card from them …… Now what would she do if I didn't have one of those either?? Or that everything I have was in hubby's name?!?!? So this should be fun.
Interviews
As I mentioned in the last section, Sam at Sewell Moorhouse put me forward for a position at a company in Scunthorpe as a Purchase Ledger Clerk. Sounded all well and good – my main duties would be invoice entry and query resolution, but there would also be an element of account reccing. The latter was the part that appealed because I enjoy that. I like the feeling I get when it's finished and I know I've accomplished something. What put me off more was the fact that it was a maternity cover job in the main. I started at Spencer as a maternity cover temp and I hated being left hanging while Sarah decided whether she was staying or not. It meant I couldn't really start looking for different work because I couldn't honestly tell people if or when I would be available for work. No offence to the mothers who may read this but I gather it's a hard decision as to how much time you want to go back to work for, or whether you want to go back at all and so tends to be very last minute. I think I'd rather have a job that was actually mine rather than just looking after someone else's until the decide what they want to do – it's like house-sitting but less definite because at least you know when the owners are coming back from their hols!!! If it wasn't a maternity cover temp to perm and was a proper fixed term contract meaning there wasn't that uncertainty attached to it I'd probably jump at the chance. If they'd said "it's for 4-months and we're not waiting on someone making a decision to come back to work" it'd be fine. There's an element of housekeeping in this job too. They need help with recommending and helping to put into place, processes and practices for the new SAP system they introduced back in March and although it would be nice to be involved with that, and that SAP itself would be good for my CV, it'd annoy me a little bit to put all that work in for someone else to come back and they say "Cheers. See ya!!" I'd also resent the fact that I'd wind up doing what I did at Spencer and not bother to make the effort with colleagues because it'd be more painful to leave at the end of the 4 months if you know what I mean ……
I'm also very confused with this job. On the one hand I'm being told it's a 4-month contract for maternity cover, but the other lass in the department is leaving to train to be a maths teacher and said I'd be doing her job?!?!? The other problem with this job is that it would start on Monday. It's been badly planned by the sounds of it and this means I don't get the time to really think about it properly and I really don't want to jump for the sake of it. I did that with Spencer and we all know how that turned out. I'm pissed off though because I feel really guilty for letting down these people I've met once for an hour – what is wrong with me???? It's not like I owe them anything, or that I know them well enough to consider them friends for whom I would feel disappointed for letting them down. I think I need help!!!
eBay
eBay is the work of the Devil – simple as …… As you can imagine I've had WAY too much time on my hands recently and have found myself inexplicably drawn to eBay – no. I tell a lie. It is explicable …… I started looking at cheap 6th gen I-Pods and wound up buying loads of Bon Jovi gear!! Lol! I think in all I've spent about £75 on there over the last few days. I'm trying to get my Bon Jovi CD Collection a bit more complete, and Mum's taken advantage of me not working by asking me to bid on stuff for her too – she – or rather I've just bought her a PDA. At least *touch wood* I've dealt with some good sellers and haven't had to argue and get stressed over any of them yet!!
Photography
It's quite good really. I've been taking more pics lately -- generally of birds picking around the lawn and flower beds. I may put them on the Ol' Photobucket later if I feel that way inclined. The garden got in such a state that Mum decided enough was enough as she wasn't going to have the time to do it, and got in a gardener. They've done really well and got the garden back to some semblance of normality and now all the birds can see what they're looking for …… and we can see them!! Lol!! Mum treated me to a trip to The Deep last week and I tried pics of fish, but it wasn't really happening!! Lol!! They're on the Photobucket too so you can take a look-see if you fancy. I've said it before and I'll say it again. I hate fish …… they don't stay still long enough for pictures, and aquariums have a thing about flash photography. I can understand it, but from a purely selfish point of view, I can't get good pics without it!! Lol!!
Cockatiels
This is a random heading eh?? Well, Bank Holiday Monday I went out to the Aviary to feed our birds. Somehow I got caught up on a bit of wire and didn't realise, so when I got free it made a god almighty ping and put the wind up the birds. They panicked and in the melee one of the cockatiels escaped out the door that I was halfway through!! Anyway, he's been hanging around the garden ever since because luckily his girlfriend was still IN the aviary so he's been coming back to visit and eat – we have, in essence, had possibly the first free-range cockatiel in the history of bird keeping!! Lol!! He spent most of yesterday sat on top of his old cage, which we'd set up with some food in the hopes of tempting him into it and getting him home proper, chatting to his mates like some kind of little old lady. Today was a good day – we got him back in the aviary. He went into his old cage for breakfast, Mum spotted him and she legged it down the garden and shut him in quick. The little cage is now in the big cage waiting for him to come out and see his mates again so all is good!!!
Unfortunately after nearly 3 weeks I'm already bored stupid, so I foresee more bad TV, more job hunting, more bemoaning of the fact I can't go out shopping (especially when I find a neat pair of boots for a tenner and Mum won't let me buy them!!!), and more visiting eBay to find a happier medium where I can shop but on the cheap ...... hopefully!!!
H.
xx
Thursday 30 August 2007
Tuesday 14 August 2007
The System Is …… Shit
So the story goes like this ……
I phoned the DWP today in the hopes of getting some job seekers since I'm not working …… fair enough, I've paid my stamps, surely I'm entitled right?? Apparently there're conditions attached and again the conscientious people lose out. This is going to divide opinion – I know this, but it's just really shit!!!
For years my parents put money away for me for a rainy day, and now I have a selection of National Savings Bonds. They also encouraged me to save money, and I try to put something away every month – scrub that …… I DO put something away every month. It may only be £25 without fail, but I still do it. The idea was I'd have a deposit for a house or something equally as useful.
Unfortunately this sound financial planning may be coming back to bite me on the arse, as it would appear that over the years I have accrued, both directly and indirectly, too much in my savings. It's not official yet, but I know once I start adding up they probably will. Since when is it fair to force someone to dip into their savings in order to survive when they've been paying their NIC's since the day they started working?? What else do I get out of them?? What do they pay for?? My pension is going to be virtually non-existent by the time I reach retirement age (IF I reach it considering they keep threatening to put the fecker up!!!), in which case I'll NEED my savings, I rarely go to the Doctors, I've never called an ambulance, and my Dentist is private so I don't use the NHS ……
It just niggles me that even though with one hand they're trying to get people to save by upping interest rates, they're forcing people to use their savings in order to survive through circumstances beyond their control. If I'd walked out all well and good – it would be my own fault and I'd have to deal (and if I'd known I'd get fuck-all anyway, I might as well have done that anyway and prevented all the stress and heartache!!!), but judging by the fact I had no choice in the matter and no warning that I was about to be made redundant, how is it fair that I lose out?? Maybe I'm being selfish, but it just seems to be another way to get beat down. I know there are people who need it more desperately, but by the same token there are people who take the piss and don't DESERVE it. If I could have got out of it I'd have quit paying them and put the £113 or so they deducted off me every month in my bank account!!! I'd have been at least £5000 better off!!!! They will, however, keep up my NIC's for me while I'm not paying them if I'd like -- more money for them to NOT let me use later!!! Generous!!
I phoned the DWP today in the hopes of getting some job seekers since I'm not working …… fair enough, I've paid my stamps, surely I'm entitled right?? Apparently there're conditions attached and again the conscientious people lose out. This is going to divide opinion – I know this, but it's just really shit!!!
For years my parents put money away for me for a rainy day, and now I have a selection of National Savings Bonds. They also encouraged me to save money, and I try to put something away every month – scrub that …… I DO put something away every month. It may only be £25 without fail, but I still do it. The idea was I'd have a deposit for a house or something equally as useful.
Unfortunately this sound financial planning may be coming back to bite me on the arse, as it would appear that over the years I have accrued, both directly and indirectly, too much in my savings. It's not official yet, but I know once I start adding up they probably will. Since when is it fair to force someone to dip into their savings in order to survive when they've been paying their NIC's since the day they started working?? What else do I get out of them?? What do they pay for?? My pension is going to be virtually non-existent by the time I reach retirement age (IF I reach it considering they keep threatening to put the fecker up!!!), in which case I'll NEED my savings, I rarely go to the Doctors, I've never called an ambulance, and my Dentist is private so I don't use the NHS ……
It just niggles me that even though with one hand they're trying to get people to save by upping interest rates, they're forcing people to use their savings in order to survive through circumstances beyond their control. If I'd walked out all well and good – it would be my own fault and I'd have to deal (and if I'd known I'd get fuck-all anyway, I might as well have done that anyway and prevented all the stress and heartache!!!), but judging by the fact I had no choice in the matter and no warning that I was about to be made redundant, how is it fair that I lose out?? Maybe I'm being selfish, but it just seems to be another way to get beat down. I know there are people who need it more desperately, but by the same token there are people who take the piss and don't DESERVE it. If I could have got out of it I'd have quit paying them and put the £113 or so they deducted off me every month in my bank account!!! I'd have been at least £5000 better off!!!! They will, however, keep up my NIC's for me while I'm not paying them if I'd like -- more money for them to NOT let me use later!!! Generous!!
Monday 13 August 2007
The Great Escape
Well it finally happened. After 4 years of complete hell at work I'm finally free!! I know I shouldn't really be happy about it – I should actually be really disappointed that I no longer work for such a 'fine establishment' …… did they buy that?? So there it is. I've joined the ranks of the unemployed. Not sure how that's going to pan out yet but it can't be any worse surely?!?!
As such I figured what's better than to do a retrospective on my time of being employed -- it's turned out longer than expected, but meh!! It wasn't all bad – it was MOSTLY bad, but not all bad. There is at least one person I don't want to lose touch with …… most of them can drop off the face of the planet as far as I'm concerned, but there is one person I'll miss at least …… and my lads. Kerry said it best when she said there were only two things that were keeping me at Spencer – my friend Joss, and my lads. Now the decision has been taken out of my hands. On the one hand it's a good thing – if they hadn't made the decision I would most likely have just stayed there becoming more miserable and stressed. By the other token it would have been nice to have made the move myself, but as I said I never would have. With a job I don't think I had the same dedication to finding a new one. The urgency just wasn't there -- I had one so unless it was something I really wanted I didn't really put the effort in and I never really found one of those.
Many won't know this tale in full and some will know parts of it that others don't. As I said, it wasn't always bad. When I started in August 2003 I was working as Maternity cover for one of the departments. It was admin so it wasn't difficult or really all that stressful. There weren't many deadlines and I liked my manager. Still do to this day as he always treated me with respect and I suppose looked after me – bit of a father figure I guess. The rest of the guys in the department were a laugh too. I got on with them and admittedly, at times maybe spent more time having a laugh with them than I should have. As my contract was coming to an end towards Christmas I did start stressing a bit about whether I would still have a job come February when the other lass came back – maybe should've taken it as a sign when it took them until the last week before Christmas to give me a sign. The news was positive and I had a job after Christmas. Unfortunately, it had to be put on hold for a week as that was the year my Dad died – but we've covered that before. When I came back in the new year it was all change at home so I was glad to a certain extent to be back at work where nothing had changed. That relief was short-lived, however, when the news came that the department was moving to Hull and there was nothing said about whether the admin staff were moving with them as Sarah and I were based this side of the water whereas the majority of the rest were based north of the river. By this time I'd started doing purchasing and was starting to clash with the guy above me – I had, in theory 2 managers and one role was beginning to bleed into another. At this point the Tracker for the vans had also come into being and I was responsible for that too. I had too much to do and not enough time to do it in so I was stressing something chronic.
Come the April of 2004 the department were moving and Sarah and I were staying behind. At this point my purchasing role had gone to a temp (a fact I didn't find out from management but as a slip of the tongue from one of the guys I was working with). Now the board had to find somewhere to deposit us. Sarah wound up in another department doing pretty much what she had been doing before, and I wound up in payroll and, for a while anyway, all was good with the world again. I learnt how to process the timesheets and was promised training in running the payroll from start to finish so I could cover if necessary, which seemed like a good deal. My first training came a fortnight before one of my colleagues (Gail) was due to go on holiday so it was a rush but I stumbled through and I think it turned out OK. That's when I first met Joss, she'd been brought in to cover my work for me while I was covering for Gail. When she came back Joss moved into Accounts and I didn't hear from her so much – there was a bit of friction between Accounts and Payroll, mainly on the Payroll side as the Payroll Manager (Debbie) felt that we weren't really anything to do with accounts – strange logic actually considering that all our work was concerned with figures and job costing which is inherently an Accounts thing!!
Things started to go downhill rapidly as time went on in Payroll. As a department we were seemingly getting screwed over. Debbie was after training which she didn't seem to be actively pursuing with management, expecting it to just happen, and that because of what management were asking for in the everyday running of things, the job was becoming more complicated and no-one was listening, so there came a point where we were all looking for new jobs and thinking how funny it would be if the entire Payroll department left en masse. In March 2006, Gail left for new employment – the first one to escape – and they brought in a temp. Again it was a mad rush as she was on holiday for 2 of the 4 weeks that were needed to train the temp up to cover. We were physically extricated from the Accounts department that April and moved into an office at the other end of the world. Although we were still part of the department there was no mixing of the sections which seemed stupid, but it kept Debbie happy. Again there was more friction. The temp seemingly wasn't pulling her weight and so it fell to me to pick up the slack. I was working practically straight through, doing more overtime, and still falling behind. It came to a head in August when I blew up at Debbie after she got on at me about something which hadn't been done simply because I didn't have enough time. I was marched down to HR for an intervention at which I burst into tears. The atmosphere was terrible after that. Debbie said nothing to me if she could help it and I spent as little time in there with her as I could manage. At this point Joss was looking out for me and talking to her manager (Vicky).
In September I was officially moved out from under Debbie and into the Accounts department proper under Vicky. Again all seemed to go well for a while. Unfortunately the stuff that had slipped under Debbie came back to bite me with a vengeance and it wasn't long before I was up for an unofficially official 'meeting' regarding my apparently appalling approach to my work. It was alleged I wasn't carrying my weight as far as the department goes and what with the stuff that had just been put back and back and not yet been done, well from that moment on I was a nervous wreck. Every little thing that happened became potential ammo for an officially official disciplinary, and as a result I felt my work was never good enough. What little confidence I had left was gradually lessening, and although my work improved I don't think I ever got any positive interaction. It was all negative. The positive's were swept under the carpet and ignored. I also became an easy target for hassle in the office. Every comment seemed to be a dig. I never felt comfortable saying anything about anything for fear of having the piss taken whether I was right or wrong. I had a habit of talking to myself simply because it helped me to make sense of stuff and the fact I hate working in complete silence. It also meant that if I ever did say anything it was, for the most part, ignored and as time went on I felt more and more isolated from the people I worked with. I had always enjoyed the interaction I had with my lads, and even this became an issue. I'd have a laugh with them and it brightened my day and I like to think they enjoyed having a goss with me. I found that I developed a relationship with them that meant that I got a positive response when I phoned them. I was more likely to get what I needed out of them, i.e. their timesheets. It also meant they knew if they had any questions about anything they could phone me up and I'd help them out as best as I could and not bullshit them about anything. It became known as my sex line and phone sex became the by-line for the time I spent talking to these lads. We'd have a chat and I'd give them the answers they were after and all was good, and then I'd get hassle from the girls again.
And so the cycle continued. My work was also seemingly considered unworthy of time to be spent on it. Many a time I would be asked to be finished as early as possible so I could help someone else out. I didn't really mind this, and credit where credit is due, Vicky would explain to people who needed stuff from me, generally the Tracker, why it wouldn't be done straight away, but it did seem that my work was considered less important – the fact that if they didn't get paid the lads wouldn't come into work on Monday wasn't at all important. It annoyed me, but all the same I was glad of a little variety – you can only do the same thing for so long before it starts to bring you down.
I honestly didn't think there was a problem and so redundancy was the last thing I expected. I'd been promised the opportunity to get involved with other things ….. involvement that had never materialised due to extenuating circumstances. On Monday Vicky was talking about getting cover for my job for when I wasn't in, Tuesday the Tracker had been moved into another department and I was to be the cover for that, Wednesday I was training someone up on it and telling them if they had any problems they could ask me, and come Friday my services were no longer required. I'll give the Financial Director (Paul) his dues, he didn't beat round the bush as there is no easy way to break something like this to someone. He has to do what is best for the company at the end of the day. However having a new person start in the department on Monday, and after a job opportunity was emailed around the support staff the same day, it seems a bit odd. Maybe it was just an opportunity that they'd been waiting for since my trouble kicked off in March, maybe it was totally off the cuff and unplanned. I don't know and probably never will. I'd say it was upsetting, and as you can appreciate Friday it was – I think it was the shock more than anything else, but as I've thought about it more and my friends have looked out for me and let me bend their ears, I'm beginning to see it as an opportunity.
As I mentioned at the start, I would have more than likely sat there processing my timesheets until doomsday had this not happened. Maybe given the chance now, my back trouble from my dodgy chair will ease off. I'm not on the breadline yet. I've got a nice bit of money coming my way as soon as I sign the paperwork, and they've promised me a good reference.
In the meantime, I'm going to spend a bit of quality time with myself and consider what it is that I want to do. If it means retraining so be it …… if it means going in a completely different direction, that's good too …… we'll see what happens. Until then you'll find me sat on the sofa, randomly surfing the 'Net, bugging you all while I've got too much time on my hands, and watching copious amounts of trashy talk shows – from Jeremy Kyle to Jerry Springer!! Wish me luck!!
It's a hard life innit??? Lol!!
As such I figured what's better than to do a retrospective on my time of being employed -- it's turned out longer than expected, but meh!! It wasn't all bad – it was MOSTLY bad, but not all bad. There is at least one person I don't want to lose touch with …… most of them can drop off the face of the planet as far as I'm concerned, but there is one person I'll miss at least …… and my lads. Kerry said it best when she said there were only two things that were keeping me at Spencer – my friend Joss, and my lads. Now the decision has been taken out of my hands. On the one hand it's a good thing – if they hadn't made the decision I would most likely have just stayed there becoming more miserable and stressed. By the other token it would have been nice to have made the move myself, but as I said I never would have. With a job I don't think I had the same dedication to finding a new one. The urgency just wasn't there -- I had one so unless it was something I really wanted I didn't really put the effort in and I never really found one of those.
Many won't know this tale in full and some will know parts of it that others don't. As I said, it wasn't always bad. When I started in August 2003 I was working as Maternity cover for one of the departments. It was admin so it wasn't difficult or really all that stressful. There weren't many deadlines and I liked my manager. Still do to this day as he always treated me with respect and I suppose looked after me – bit of a father figure I guess. The rest of the guys in the department were a laugh too. I got on with them and admittedly, at times maybe spent more time having a laugh with them than I should have. As my contract was coming to an end towards Christmas I did start stressing a bit about whether I would still have a job come February when the other lass came back – maybe should've taken it as a sign when it took them until the last week before Christmas to give me a sign. The news was positive and I had a job after Christmas. Unfortunately, it had to be put on hold for a week as that was the year my Dad died – but we've covered that before. When I came back in the new year it was all change at home so I was glad to a certain extent to be back at work where nothing had changed. That relief was short-lived, however, when the news came that the department was moving to Hull and there was nothing said about whether the admin staff were moving with them as Sarah and I were based this side of the water whereas the majority of the rest were based north of the river. By this time I'd started doing purchasing and was starting to clash with the guy above me – I had, in theory 2 managers and one role was beginning to bleed into another. At this point the Tracker for the vans had also come into being and I was responsible for that too. I had too much to do and not enough time to do it in so I was stressing something chronic.
Come the April of 2004 the department were moving and Sarah and I were staying behind. At this point my purchasing role had gone to a temp (a fact I didn't find out from management but as a slip of the tongue from one of the guys I was working with). Now the board had to find somewhere to deposit us. Sarah wound up in another department doing pretty much what she had been doing before, and I wound up in payroll and, for a while anyway, all was good with the world again. I learnt how to process the timesheets and was promised training in running the payroll from start to finish so I could cover if necessary, which seemed like a good deal. My first training came a fortnight before one of my colleagues (Gail) was due to go on holiday so it was a rush but I stumbled through and I think it turned out OK. That's when I first met Joss, she'd been brought in to cover my work for me while I was covering for Gail. When she came back Joss moved into Accounts and I didn't hear from her so much – there was a bit of friction between Accounts and Payroll, mainly on the Payroll side as the Payroll Manager (Debbie) felt that we weren't really anything to do with accounts – strange logic actually considering that all our work was concerned with figures and job costing which is inherently an Accounts thing!!
Things started to go downhill rapidly as time went on in Payroll. As a department we were seemingly getting screwed over. Debbie was after training which she didn't seem to be actively pursuing with management, expecting it to just happen, and that because of what management were asking for in the everyday running of things, the job was becoming more complicated and no-one was listening, so there came a point where we were all looking for new jobs and thinking how funny it would be if the entire Payroll department left en masse. In March 2006, Gail left for new employment – the first one to escape – and they brought in a temp. Again it was a mad rush as she was on holiday for 2 of the 4 weeks that were needed to train the temp up to cover. We were physically extricated from the Accounts department that April and moved into an office at the other end of the world. Although we were still part of the department there was no mixing of the sections which seemed stupid, but it kept Debbie happy. Again there was more friction. The temp seemingly wasn't pulling her weight and so it fell to me to pick up the slack. I was working practically straight through, doing more overtime, and still falling behind. It came to a head in August when I blew up at Debbie after she got on at me about something which hadn't been done simply because I didn't have enough time. I was marched down to HR for an intervention at which I burst into tears. The atmosphere was terrible after that. Debbie said nothing to me if she could help it and I spent as little time in there with her as I could manage. At this point Joss was looking out for me and talking to her manager (Vicky).
In September I was officially moved out from under Debbie and into the Accounts department proper under Vicky. Again all seemed to go well for a while. Unfortunately the stuff that had slipped under Debbie came back to bite me with a vengeance and it wasn't long before I was up for an unofficially official 'meeting' regarding my apparently appalling approach to my work. It was alleged I wasn't carrying my weight as far as the department goes and what with the stuff that had just been put back and back and not yet been done, well from that moment on I was a nervous wreck. Every little thing that happened became potential ammo for an officially official disciplinary, and as a result I felt my work was never good enough. What little confidence I had left was gradually lessening, and although my work improved I don't think I ever got any positive interaction. It was all negative. The positive's were swept under the carpet and ignored. I also became an easy target for hassle in the office. Every comment seemed to be a dig. I never felt comfortable saying anything about anything for fear of having the piss taken whether I was right or wrong. I had a habit of talking to myself simply because it helped me to make sense of stuff and the fact I hate working in complete silence. It also meant that if I ever did say anything it was, for the most part, ignored and as time went on I felt more and more isolated from the people I worked with. I had always enjoyed the interaction I had with my lads, and even this became an issue. I'd have a laugh with them and it brightened my day and I like to think they enjoyed having a goss with me. I found that I developed a relationship with them that meant that I got a positive response when I phoned them. I was more likely to get what I needed out of them, i.e. their timesheets. It also meant they knew if they had any questions about anything they could phone me up and I'd help them out as best as I could and not bullshit them about anything. It became known as my sex line and phone sex became the by-line for the time I spent talking to these lads. We'd have a chat and I'd give them the answers they were after and all was good, and then I'd get hassle from the girls again.
And so the cycle continued. My work was also seemingly considered unworthy of time to be spent on it. Many a time I would be asked to be finished as early as possible so I could help someone else out. I didn't really mind this, and credit where credit is due, Vicky would explain to people who needed stuff from me, generally the Tracker, why it wouldn't be done straight away, but it did seem that my work was considered less important – the fact that if they didn't get paid the lads wouldn't come into work on Monday wasn't at all important. It annoyed me, but all the same I was glad of a little variety – you can only do the same thing for so long before it starts to bring you down.
I honestly didn't think there was a problem and so redundancy was the last thing I expected. I'd been promised the opportunity to get involved with other things ….. involvement that had never materialised due to extenuating circumstances. On Monday Vicky was talking about getting cover for my job for when I wasn't in, Tuesday the Tracker had been moved into another department and I was to be the cover for that, Wednesday I was training someone up on it and telling them if they had any problems they could ask me, and come Friday my services were no longer required. I'll give the Financial Director (Paul) his dues, he didn't beat round the bush as there is no easy way to break something like this to someone. He has to do what is best for the company at the end of the day. However having a new person start in the department on Monday, and after a job opportunity was emailed around the support staff the same day, it seems a bit odd. Maybe it was just an opportunity that they'd been waiting for since my trouble kicked off in March, maybe it was totally off the cuff and unplanned. I don't know and probably never will. I'd say it was upsetting, and as you can appreciate Friday it was – I think it was the shock more than anything else, but as I've thought about it more and my friends have looked out for me and let me bend their ears, I'm beginning to see it as an opportunity.
As I mentioned at the start, I would have more than likely sat there processing my timesheets until doomsday had this not happened. Maybe given the chance now, my back trouble from my dodgy chair will ease off. I'm not on the breadline yet. I've got a nice bit of money coming my way as soon as I sign the paperwork, and they've promised me a good reference.
In the meantime, I'm going to spend a bit of quality time with myself and consider what it is that I want to do. If it means retraining so be it …… if it means going in a completely different direction, that's good too …… we'll see what happens. Until then you'll find me sat on the sofa, randomly surfing the 'Net, bugging you all while I've got too much time on my hands, and watching copious amounts of trashy talk shows – from Jeremy Kyle to Jerry Springer!! Wish me luck!!
It's a hard life innit??? Lol!!
Sunday 12 August 2007
The Most Pointless Bit Of Blogging -- EVER!!!!
I'm probably about to post the most pointless and stupid 'blog' ever – must be the boredom of non-employment setting in already (I assure you there will soon be a blog bemoaning my lack of employment between copious amounts of Trash TV and hopefully before my brain turns to mush from lack of use – best break out the ol' Sudoku!!!), but whilst randomly surfing the internet, chatting with a friend or two, watching TV and judging by how my tastes tend to change with the wind -- the word 'flit' doesn't even start to cover it!! Lol!! -- I decided to waste a couple of minutes of my life compiling The Phwoar List just for the hell of it.
Come one, come all, boys and girls, add your favourites with your reasons, (doesn't matter if they're deep and meaningful or just the result of serotonin and assorted other overactive hormones) and then we can all go away happy in the knowledge that we've just confessed our deepest darkest and potentially most embarrassing celebrity crushes to anyone who fancies a nosey!! I get to start because it's my 'Space. In no particular order ......
* Richie Sambora -- he plays guitar in a rock band. Throughout music history the rock guitarist has been a mainstay in the lusting stakes. As if I care that he's old enough to be my Dad!!! He plays guitar, he has nice cheekbones, and hair to die for …… and that voice woooah. If you haven't heard that voice of his on it's own without The Jovi you've missed a treat!! ^_^ And the hats!! LOVE the hats, and the cool jackets!!! I keep saying -- when God created Richie Sambora he was just showing off!!
* Joe Perry, see above. Similar reasons, different man!! Although I haven't heard his solo stuff yet so I'm being cautious about the voice thing ...... ;)
* Paddy McGuinness -- just look at him. I mean come on, surely you see it too???
* Harrison Ford – Han Solo was just …… he was a pirate and sexy as f…… I know, we're getting back to the old enough to be my Dad thing but c'mon – the guy's still got it ……
* Robbie Williams -- It's the grin. Sorry but it's too damn disarming to not be fanciable.
* George Eads – that would be Nick Stokes of CSI: Vegas fame. He's just …… phwooaar!! I could happily live without the lego hair he's been sporting during the last couple of seasons (I think – could these Programmers possibly run the things in some semblance of order!!!) but other than that he's rather lush.
Come one, come all, boys and girls, add your favourites with your reasons, (doesn't matter if they're deep and meaningful or just the result of serotonin and assorted other overactive hormones) and then we can all go away happy in the knowledge that we've just confessed our deepest darkest and potentially most embarrassing celebrity crushes to anyone who fancies a nosey!! I get to start because it's my 'Space. In no particular order ......
* Richie Sambora -- he plays guitar in a rock band. Throughout music history the rock guitarist has been a mainstay in the lusting stakes. As if I care that he's old enough to be my Dad!!! He plays guitar, he has nice cheekbones, and hair to die for …… and that voice woooah. If you haven't heard that voice of his on it's own without The Jovi you've missed a treat!! ^_^ And the hats!! LOVE the hats, and the cool jackets!!! I keep saying -- when God created Richie Sambora he was just showing off!!
* Joe Perry, see above. Similar reasons, different man!! Although I haven't heard his solo stuff yet so I'm being cautious about the voice thing ...... ;)
* Paddy McGuinness -- just look at him. I mean come on, surely you see it too???
* Harrison Ford – Han Solo was just …… he was a pirate and sexy as f…… I know, we're getting back to the old enough to be my Dad thing but c'mon – the guy's still got it ……
* Robbie Williams -- It's the grin. Sorry but it's too damn disarming to not be fanciable.
* George Eads – that would be Nick Stokes of CSI: Vegas fame. He's just …… phwooaar!! I could happily live without the lego hair he's been sporting during the last couple of seasons (I think – could these Programmers possibly run the things in some semblance of order!!!) but other than that he's rather lush.
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