As per usual the new year came in like a damp squib this year. I think this festive season I’ve had a much more difficult time mentally than in previous years. To be perfectly honest, it’s been on a par with the entrance of 2005 …. bad year, but not quite as bad as the year before, but just a lot of stuff going on in my head this year. 2010 is now upon us and, as has become traditional, it’s time for the “how much has my life sucked” blog to arrive. I still have it better than most. At least I’m employed. Not happily employed but employed nonetheless and for that at least I should be grateful if I can’t be happy about it.
To be perfectly honest this year has been much less eventful than previous years. An uncertain employment situation hasn’t really help with the jauntage this year – my desire to arrange anything kinda lulling until I knew in June that I still had a job. Being told you’ll be employed verbally and getting it in writing in the current economic climate are 2 completely different things, so I didn’t exactly feel happy organising anything until I was settled and knew funding it wouldn’t be a problem. A couple of theatre trips, a comedy gig or 2 and 3 gigs is kinda pitiful considering my past performance – guess Paddy wasn’t touring this year. ;) I have however also spent a lot of time with the weight of the world on my shoulders. Feeling responsible for what other people do or putting other people first and feeling generally miserable.
I regained my passion for Jovi this year, not that I’m really convinced it ever went away. It just hit a new level this year with 2 trans-Atlantic trips on the cards. It doesn’t seem at the moment that I’ll be spending much time at home during April to July this year …. well maybe I will but the trips I’m planning are VERY close The 30th birthday New York trip has been put on hold for a little while for various reasons, but my 30th year will be celebrated in style with a Jovi gig in Dallas the day before. I think it’ll make me very happy (especially if a certain rock star serenades me on the night ;)) and at least it’s something different. My Jovi jauntage this year will be Dallas in April, 3 nights at Meadowlands in May and 3 more at the O2 in June – more if I manage to get the job I want and relocate to the capital …. or if the boss will allow me more days off. ;) I promise, until they start kicking off I will say no more. :) I have also invested in a ticket for a Kiss gig in May for fun and laughs. Apparently it’s a good show so it should be an experience if nothing else.
Speaking of work, I’m still on the lookout for my calling in this world. I think I’ve begrudgingly come to the reality that if I don’t manage to turn my life around this year, doing something I want to, rather than something I HAVE to, I never will. Certainly not the situation I find myself In now. My current work environment is consistently uncomfortable, stressful, and soul destroying. As I’ve said before, my boss exasperates me; be it the way he manages his department, his seeming lack of interpersonal skills or that he feels the need to ask everyone about everyone else’s job, apart from the person whose job it is if that makes sense. Also with my colleague and friend Suze leaving in about a week I think it will be even worse. When it all comes down to it, she keeps me sane in the place. The new girl will have a helluva a job to fill those boots. ;)
I did find a job that I thought I could really get my teeth into but I’ve not heard anything about it and it’s now seemingly unavailable. Whether that’s because they’ve just not told me they want me for interview, or if it wasn’t meant to be we’ll discover after Christmas. It may just have been taken down for the break.
I also need to attempt that whole “health” thing again. I kinda gave up on it when my numbers weren’t dropping even though my diet isn’t REALLY all that bad and I was doing my session every day. Of course, I STILL have no idea why it came to such an abrupt halt when my calorie intake was seemingly below the recommended intake and my activity level obviously increased.
I’m trying to embrace the whole “live your life” philosophy. I think I need to start playing the lottery or get a better job to fund my exploits! Lol!! So what’s brought about all this crap? It’s been a bad year in the world this year, and I don’t mean mine. It’s been difficult to see so many of my childhood idols leave this mortal coil and not one of them SHOULD have died …. all way too young to have left this plane of existence – the most recent being Brittany Murphy (only 2 years my senior) and the drummer from Avenged Sevenfold (never listened to them but the fact he was only 28 kinda freaked me out more). It kind of brought my own mortality even more to the fore. I’ve had this feeling for 6 years after losing my Dad, but I think someone high profile and my age kinda brings it back even more. What do they say? But for the grace of God that could be me – and I’m so not the religious type.
These people are all individuals who knew what they wanted, did it and I’m pretty sure enjoyed it and therefore lived life for them. Yeah, they had their obligations as we all do, but they had a life doing for them too. That’s something I need to do. I spend way too much of my time, seemingly even more so this year, putting my life on hold and putting everyone else first, or feeling responsible for other people and their actions but whereas the former may be an admirable trait, I need to learn to be selfish on occasion. ;)
OK, so this has turned into less of a retrospective and more of a “what’s to come”. Either way it’s suitable for this type of blog this time of year. I could go into how I’ve spent way too much money on CD’s and Guitar Hero this year, or how I bought my first ever concert tee from an actual concert rather than eBay, or that I have now entered the 21st century at last buy purchasing a Wii, DS and a DVR this year …. but everyone knows how much I enjoy a good ol’ shopping spree. ;)
I will , however, add one more thing. For another year I have had the best friends ever. You've been amazing yet again. I know you always are and you know I always appreciate it but I'm not sure I actually SAY it enough. Once again you've let me bitch and moan at you, regardless of what is happening with you, and have never asked for anything in return and for that I thank you. You keep me sane and you have no idea just how much I love you guys! xx
Here’s hoping that 2010 turns out to be a better experience for us all whether we realise it or not. Happy new year everyone. :)
H.
xx
Showing posts with label blog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blog. Show all posts
Friday, 1 January 2010
Wednesday, 18 June 2008
Updates
Think it's update time again. It's probably going to be all obver the place but meh.
So what's been going on since my last blog ……. Not much really. My last contract ended on 6 June. I actually interviewed for the job to be permanent but I didn't get it …… obviously!!! Lol!! I got a lot of positive feedback from my manager, who gave me some advice and a confidence boost -- she's also given me a copy of the questions and my answers so I'm more prepared for my next interview -- the perks of having a parent on a personal level with the boss. ;) But for the moment I'm unemployed again, which means all the interviewing and bi-weekly trips to the job centre. She was actually really upset she couldn't give me the job. It wasn't anything major really, the person I was up against had more experience …… and apparently I need to formulate a five year plan even if I'm lying. Apparently saying you "like to go with the flow and see what happens" isn't good enough. Neither is "become a lady of leisure" – I didn't actually say that one – she beat me to that one -- but it would be nice. ;). Boohissboo.
I've been using my time 'constructively' obviously. As well as job hunting – of which there are few around, actually I've only found one job that I fancy or could possibly do and I've emailed them for an application form …… not that it's turned up yet!!! – I've been contemplating again. After my interview I got a lot of good advice from the interviewer, so I'm thinking again. I've also been spending way too much time on the 'net, and taking photos. I got some blinders on Monday night after my class. They're posted up on my 'Bucket under "The Humber Bridge and the River". There are also new photos of the birds at Blacktoft Sands, Boycie and Jasmine (whose shots are under "Pets" and "Boycie" and "Pets" and "Jasmine" respectively ;)), there's some more 'Scapes, the church at Barrow (which is appropriately under "Barrow"), the garden area outside the New Theatre in Hull (under "Hull"), and some Wildlife and Plantlife. Go have a look!!! Enjoy!!! I'm especially proud of the Humber Bridge ones. :D There will, no doubt, be some Jovi in the next week or so but I'll chuck out a bulletin when those come out. Kerry can blog it. ;)
I've been reading The DaVinci Code for the past couple of weeks. I had a good run at it every night before bed. Unfortunately Sunday night I got so into it, before I knew it, it was 2am!!! Lol!! Finally finished it this morning -- took me long enough, I've tried to get into it about 3 times previously -- and it's a very good book. It's a fantastic mystery and it's really 'twisty'. It jumps around a bit but that's because there's about 3 or 4 different viewpoints for the story ..... but it is excellent. I think I'm going to start Angel and Demons next. Should really have read that one first it seems but since when have I done things the way they should be done!! ;)
I'm starting to get wound up for Bon Jovi. I've been relatively calm until now, but come Saturday I shall be bouncing off the walls and Kerry will be hiding under the bed in a hotel room in Manchester wondering what the hell she got herself into. I did spring for the Coventry ticket too so I'm going back on the Tuesday. I believe my eventual reasoning, having been umm-ing and aaah-ing about it for, erm, a morning, was ........ "well fuck it why not" so I'm going again ...... yay!!! Next stop?? A Nickelback ticket ...... or another Jovi one. ;) As it stands at the moment, I think I'm on merch duty seeing as I have a seat rather than a square of turf so being punctual won't be as much of an issue. :) I got Block 18, Row C which is Richie's side of the stage. In fact it looks like it will be the first block of seats which will hopefully mean an excellent view of the action. :) I've also booked a hotel room in Coventry I can probably ill afford in all honesty but it is Bon Jovi so it's special. We don't see them in this part of the world very often so it's important to make it special. ;)
Courses – well I had to chuck in my AAT. I couldn't find an employer who could give me the afternoon release for the classes and it was a bit out of sight out of mind and I wasn't getting the support or information from the Tutor. I wasn't even finding out from him when the exams were and was getting further behind in class (the last exam was a stark indicator of that when it was all Greek – no offence 'Rini -- to me and I'm sure I failed it magnificently!!!) so, regardless of the fact I was wondering if Accounts was what I wanted to do, I decided to throw it in. I was getting up tight and doing myself no favours. Of course it means I wasted £100 in registration and such that I could have used on more interesting things. Sage is still going – kind of. I haven't had the inclination to attend much lately as I'm bored stupid with it. The teacher is shit and doing nothing but past exam papers is driving me nuts, but I'm still sticking at it …… kind of. I failed the manual unit but I'll be damned if I can find out how or why – everything balanced and I spent 20 minutes finding 10p to MAKE it balance, but I still failed. As I said the teacher is shit. When I first found out I failed (about 4 weeks ago) I asked if she could find out how I failed because she even admitted she was surprised that myself and 2 others failed the manual when people she expected to fail because they struggled so much passed (and breathe). Last week she sent me a pissy email asking what my intentions with regard to the class were and sprung the fact that the resit would be tomorrow (19 June) and they would charge me £19.10 for the privilege (although that last bit I only found out on Monday), and I asked her if she had found out how I failed it. She said she couldn't and that OCR (the examining body) wouldn't give her that information, although I was more suspicious that she just didn't so I emailed OCR myself to see if I could find something out. Got the email back from them this morning saying the centre has to fill a form in to find out so I'm guessing "didn't" is probably more like it. Like I said – useless.
I went to the Job Centre last week to get my shit sorted out for my claim. Should I be worried that they now know me on sight 'cos I've been back the so often in fits and starts ...... on the plus-side at least they know I DO want to work so they go a bit easy on me. ;) I also think they kind of like me going because I'm an easy one to sort out.
Had a letter from the DWP this morning saying my latest claim has been authorized (how kind!!!) and saying that I won't get JSA after 24 October because my contributions will have run out. Not entirely clear as to whether that means during this period of unemployment or for good. Not entirely fair as it's not my fault I became redundant or that the only jobs I've been able to find/get have been temporary, and until my redundancy I was working constantly – I was at the same pissing company – the place that shall not be named. ;) Seems 5 years of contributions don't get you very far and I really don't want to dig into my savings -- that's a deposit for a house if and when I decide to hop on the property ladder.
I know its 20 weeks away and I don't expect to still be unemployed then, but it's got me freaking out a bit. Tried to do some research this morning but there's no information. It's the government they talk round in circles and don't tell you anything new. I'm due at the Job Centre on Friday so I may ask then. I get the feeling it may be something to do with not having my P45's when I go in ...... I have to notify the Job Centre I'm out of work as soon as possible so I don't lose out, and I've always had to wait on the employers for the documentation and government departments are renowned for not sharing information so I guess to all intents and purposes it looks like I haven't been working when I have!! Suppose I ought to phone the Inland Revenue and see if they've had my P45's that went missing back in December or whether they've finally turned up. Suppose at some point I'll need to get a form from them anyway to fill in the gaps because Charterhouse was crap. Meantime I'm going to sign up with a few more agencies (oh Joy!!!) and see what turns up.
Rant over. I expect to be rescued on Sunday so this'll all be by the by on Monday. ;) :P Lol!!
So what's been going on since my last blog ……. Not much really. My last contract ended on 6 June. I actually interviewed for the job to be permanent but I didn't get it …… obviously!!! Lol!! I got a lot of positive feedback from my manager, who gave me some advice and a confidence boost -- she's also given me a copy of the questions and my answers so I'm more prepared for my next interview -- the perks of having a parent on a personal level with the boss. ;) But for the moment I'm unemployed again, which means all the interviewing and bi-weekly trips to the job centre. She was actually really upset she couldn't give me the job. It wasn't anything major really, the person I was up against had more experience …… and apparently I need to formulate a five year plan even if I'm lying. Apparently saying you "like to go with the flow and see what happens" isn't good enough. Neither is "become a lady of leisure" – I didn't actually say that one – she beat me to that one -- but it would be nice. ;). Boohissboo.
I've been using my time 'constructively' obviously. As well as job hunting – of which there are few around, actually I've only found one job that I fancy or could possibly do and I've emailed them for an application form …… not that it's turned up yet!!! – I've been contemplating again. After my interview I got a lot of good advice from the interviewer, so I'm thinking again. I've also been spending way too much time on the 'net, and taking photos. I got some blinders on Monday night after my class. They're posted up on my 'Bucket under "The Humber Bridge and the River". There are also new photos of the birds at Blacktoft Sands, Boycie and Jasmine (whose shots are under "Pets" and "Boycie" and "Pets" and "Jasmine" respectively ;)), there's some more 'Scapes, the church at Barrow (which is appropriately under "Barrow"), the garden area outside the New Theatre in Hull (under "Hull"), and some Wildlife and Plantlife. Go have a look!!! Enjoy!!! I'm especially proud of the Humber Bridge ones. :D There will, no doubt, be some Jovi in the next week or so but I'll chuck out a bulletin when those come out. Kerry can blog it. ;)
I've been reading The DaVinci Code for the past couple of weeks. I had a good run at it every night before bed. Unfortunately Sunday night I got so into it, before I knew it, it was 2am!!! Lol!! Finally finished it this morning -- took me long enough, I've tried to get into it about 3 times previously -- and it's a very good book. It's a fantastic mystery and it's really 'twisty'. It jumps around a bit but that's because there's about 3 or 4 different viewpoints for the story ..... but it is excellent. I think I'm going to start Angel and Demons next. Should really have read that one first it seems but since when have I done things the way they should be done!! ;)
I'm starting to get wound up for Bon Jovi. I've been relatively calm until now, but come Saturday I shall be bouncing off the walls and Kerry will be hiding under the bed in a hotel room in Manchester wondering what the hell she got herself into. I did spring for the Coventry ticket too so I'm going back on the Tuesday. I believe my eventual reasoning, having been umm-ing and aaah-ing about it for, erm, a morning, was ........ "well fuck it why not" so I'm going again ...... yay!!! Next stop?? A Nickelback ticket ...... or another Jovi one. ;) As it stands at the moment, I think I'm on merch duty seeing as I have a seat rather than a square of turf so being punctual won't be as much of an issue. :) I got Block 18, Row C which is Richie's side of the stage. In fact it looks like it will be the first block of seats which will hopefully mean an excellent view of the action. :) I've also booked a hotel room in Coventry I can probably ill afford in all honesty but it is Bon Jovi so it's special. We don't see them in this part of the world very often so it's important to make it special. ;)
Courses – well I had to chuck in my AAT. I couldn't find an employer who could give me the afternoon release for the classes and it was a bit out of sight out of mind and I wasn't getting the support or information from the Tutor. I wasn't even finding out from him when the exams were and was getting further behind in class (the last exam was a stark indicator of that when it was all Greek – no offence 'Rini -- to me and I'm sure I failed it magnificently!!!) so, regardless of the fact I was wondering if Accounts was what I wanted to do, I decided to throw it in. I was getting up tight and doing myself no favours. Of course it means I wasted £100 in registration and such that I could have used on more interesting things. Sage is still going – kind of. I haven't had the inclination to attend much lately as I'm bored stupid with it. The teacher is shit and doing nothing but past exam papers is driving me nuts, but I'm still sticking at it …… kind of. I failed the manual unit but I'll be damned if I can find out how or why – everything balanced and I spent 20 minutes finding 10p to MAKE it balance, but I still failed. As I said the teacher is shit. When I first found out I failed (about 4 weeks ago) I asked if she could find out how I failed because she even admitted she was surprised that myself and 2 others failed the manual when people she expected to fail because they struggled so much passed (and breathe). Last week she sent me a pissy email asking what my intentions with regard to the class were and sprung the fact that the resit would be tomorrow (19 June) and they would charge me £19.10 for the privilege (although that last bit I only found out on Monday), and I asked her if she had found out how I failed it. She said she couldn't and that OCR (the examining body) wouldn't give her that information, although I was more suspicious that she just didn't so I emailed OCR myself to see if I could find something out. Got the email back from them this morning saying the centre has to fill a form in to find out so I'm guessing "didn't" is probably more like it. Like I said – useless.
I went to the Job Centre last week to get my shit sorted out for my claim. Should I be worried that they now know me on sight 'cos I've been back the so often in fits and starts ...... on the plus-side at least they know I DO want to work so they go a bit easy on me. ;) I also think they kind of like me going because I'm an easy one to sort out.
Had a letter from the DWP this morning saying my latest claim has been authorized (how kind!!!) and saying that I won't get JSA after 24 October because my contributions will have run out. Not entirely clear as to whether that means during this period of unemployment or for good. Not entirely fair as it's not my fault I became redundant or that the only jobs I've been able to find/get have been temporary, and until my redundancy I was working constantly – I was at the same pissing company – the place that shall not be named. ;) Seems 5 years of contributions don't get you very far and I really don't want to dig into my savings -- that's a deposit for a house if and when I decide to hop on the property ladder.
I know its 20 weeks away and I don't expect to still be unemployed then, but it's got me freaking out a bit. Tried to do some research this morning but there's no information. It's the government they talk round in circles and don't tell you anything new. I'm due at the Job Centre on Friday so I may ask then. I get the feeling it may be something to do with not having my P45's when I go in ...... I have to notify the Job Centre I'm out of work as soon as possible so I don't lose out, and I've always had to wait on the employers for the documentation and government departments are renowned for not sharing information so I guess to all intents and purposes it looks like I haven't been working when I have!! Suppose I ought to phone the Inland Revenue and see if they've had my P45's that went missing back in December or whether they've finally turned up. Suppose at some point I'll need to get a form from them anyway to fill in the gaps because Charterhouse was crap. Meantime I'm going to sign up with a few more agencies (oh Joy!!!) and see what turns up.
Rant over. I expect to be rescued on Sunday so this'll all be by the by on Monday. ;) :P Lol!!
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